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Filipe Névola

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Back5/29/25, 11:42 AM

What is your dream?

tl;dr: big questions require thinking

My niece asked me this question some months ago: "Uncle, what is your dream?"

She asked in Portuguese, of course, but you get the idea.

My niece is 6 years old, but I talk to kids exactly like I talk to adults.

By the way, kids love that.

So I answered as I would answer to an adult: "None, I already have everything."

Then she said: "Really? Isn't there anything that you want to have and you don't?"

I said: "I have more than I ever dreamed of."

Ok, that was the conversation in summary.

I probably said more things that I don't remember now.

What is the point of this text?

It's to think about the question and also about my answer.

My answer is 100% correct in many ways:

  • Money: from my background and my family, I have way more than I ever thought was possible
  • Professional: I love what I do
  • Travel: I do this quite a lot
  • Love: I live with my love and we've been together for the past 19 years
  • Friends: I have enough :)

I said money first because I think her question was much more about "having stuff" than experiences or love.

She's 6 years old, so she was probably thinking about a gift she was waiting for and then asked me this question to know "what gift I'm looking for."

Ok, that's all good, but that's not the point of this text.

My point here is to say that since I answered her question, I believe I gave the wrong answer.

Not because it's wrong by itself, but because I should have had a better answer.

Let me explain: Derek Sivers says that the first and quick answer is probably the worst one.

Why?

Because it's our automatic system replying.

We didn't think in the moment—it was something that was already decided or subconscious.

But the question "What is your dream?" should have required me time to think.

I'm not a dreamer or someone who thinks a lot about the future or even the past.

I'm not a reflective person, so I haven't asked this question to myself recently, and probably never, to be honest.

So this text will end unfinished as I still don't know how to provide a good answer—not for her, but for myself.

If you ask me: "Are you happy?" I know for sure that I am.

Especially because I don't think about happiness as something circumstantial, so I'm always happy.

(I'm not always laughing, but that's something to talk about another time.)

But again, that's not the point of the question.

The question about dreams should require an answer as big as the question.

Even if her intention was to know about material goods (that I don't care about at all), I'm thankful that she asked that question so I can find "new dreams."

That could bring new perspectives to my already pretty good life.

By the way, what is your dream?